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Author Topic: Another one of my jokes  (Read 883 times)

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lashmar

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Another one of my jokes
« on: October 08, 2009, 12:40:34 PM »

Okay I’ve got a joke for you but it has a story to go with it.

My father makes his own bread and when he over-toasts it the toast goes really hard, cracks and breaks off into large pieces.

We were talking about it today (having over toasted it quite a bit) and I came out with my joke:

The way it breaks off into shards is like shrapnel, the Taliban will start using this soon enough. Bread bombs…better than nail bombs because it’s organic.
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Day_Tripper

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Another one of my jokes
« Reply #1 on: October 08, 2009, 02:50:57 PM »

Cute.  :D

Ah, that reminds me, I have to check on my sourdough starter.
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Day_Tripper

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Another one of my jokes
« Reply #2 on: October 08, 2009, 02:54:20 PM »

Ah yes, she has bubbles.   ;D  I just put her in the fridge.  I should name her (the sourdough start).  I named my aloe plant Jesus (pronounce in the Spanish way Hay-Zeus).  I figured if I named him I'd remember to water him. ;D
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lashmar

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Another one of my jokes
« Reply #3 on: October 08, 2009, 03:00:18 PM »

I just put her in the fridge. 

I have a joke for that. Give me an hour, I have to run out.
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lashmar

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Another one of my jokes
« Reply #4 on: October 08, 2009, 04:23:37 PM »

My house is rather old (built in the 1850’s like a lot of farm cottages). Given that there I a shop not far from here that was built in the 1300’s mine is still a nipper. Lol.

Anyway. It gets so cold in this house that we can go weeks at a time in the kitchen where we’re able to see our breath vapour. Last February was the coldest we’ve had in 18 years and the INSIDE of the kitchen window was freezing over. The radiators are basically useless so there is no heating in the house either.

This house points exactly north, the north sea is technically 60 miles away but the county between me and the coast is flat as a pancake. I think the highest point is something like 400ft (and that’s on the other side of the country I think) and I’m up at 750/800ft it might be more.

There is no shelter up here because it’s farmland and the wind comes down from the North Sea and hits us square on.

If you go to London on this map, it’s too small I know, and then follow the line up until the next red dot, that’s where I am (just bellow but for this that’s pretty much it). Above that there is that large green patch (meaning it’s pretty flat) so there is nothing to break up the wind from the sea.



And yet it’s always, always misty up here. No matter the time of year, it is always misty.
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lashmar

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Another one of my jokes
« Reply #5 on: October 08, 2009, 04:34:46 PM »

Last February was the coldest we’ve had in 18 years and the INSIDE of the kitchen window was freezing over.

We have the real frosted glass effect! Lol.
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Day_Tripper

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Another one of my jokes
« Reply #6 on: October 08, 2009, 04:39:54 PM »

It sounds beautiful.

My father was raised in Wisconsin, right by Lake Superior.  He was born in a tar paper shack.  His mother (who raised me) would wake at 4 or 5 in the morning and start the fire.  That fire cooked breakfast and heated the house.  The men folk had to milk the cows twice a day, no matter how much snow.  Even when they had to crawl out a window due to snow.  This was before electricity or indoor plumbing.  I used the outhouse there (in the summer and the log cabin, not the shack).  They used to all use the same bathwater.  No wonder why the Natives could smell the Europeans from miles away...they had dirty habits.  And, it ain't just the French who stink, even to this day.;)

Me...I'm from this area.  We don't get that kind of snow.  I'm too soft to live through that type of weather.  Lot's of Scandinavians live in that area.  I'll take my rain.  8)

Found this by googling Superior Wisconsin:

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lashmar

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Another one of my jokes
« Reply #7 on: October 08, 2009, 04:46:35 PM »

It sounds beautiful.

So –5 inside the house sounds nice to you? I didn’t even start to mention all the problems with the house, there’s too many to mention. Lol.
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Day_Tripper

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« Reply #8 on: October 08, 2009, 05:12:24 PM »

It sounds beautiful.

So –5 inside the house sounds nice to you? I didn’t even start to mention all the problems with the house, there’s too many to mention. Lol.

No.

I live on the West Coast of the US...we get rain.  In the mountains we get some snow, enough to ski on.  If only weather was a consideration, I'd move to California, but I hate the people there.  So, I'll take my rain.  Besides, they only know what a mountain is in Northern California.

I guess that's what you get for living in such an old house.  :P :-*  Maybe it ain't that bad to live in houses that are less that 100 years old.  They have all those new inventions like indoor plumbing and heat.   8)

One minute you brag about living in an old house, the next you bitch about it.  You're acting a lot like a girl.  :D ;D
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lashmar

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Another one of my jokes
« Reply #9 on: October 08, 2009, 05:17:15 PM »

One minute you brag about living in an old house, the next you bitch about it.  You're acting a lot like a girl.  :D ;D

I only Bitch in the winter. lol.
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