The UFO Bunker

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

I am still renovating the site and also trying to add some great forums. Its similar to the once, ufodbase.

I am not deceived.
Pages: [1] 2   Go Down

Author Topic: Get your shit, we're going to war!  (Read 599 times)

0 Members and 3 Guests are viewing this topic.

lashmar

  • Majic Eyes Only (Level X)
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2442
    • View Profile
    • UFODP - something so insane it's got to work
Get your shit, we're going to war!
« on: December 15, 2009, 01:46:25 PM »

Look at who they have playing in Poland next year:


The big four are playing the same gig and look at what shit I have to put up with:


Apart from Slayer and Iron Maiden they're all shit. Anthrax sound like like the singer has a sore throat, The cult...who the fuck are they? Motley Crue...they're not heavy metal. Rammstein...they're not even metal, I'm so pissed off (cunts >:(). >:( >:( >:(

I missed Metallica last year at Knebworth (down the road from me, I could see the fireworks when `One` was played 8) ) and now I have to put up with that crap.

Fuck off and give me the big four, I want Slayer, Metallica, Megadeth/dave (not too big a fan of them by I don't mind them)...you can leave crappy anthrax and replace them with Kreator. I want them and I want them now!

What the fuck are they all doing in Poland anyway? The bastards come over here and take our jobs and now they're taking our music; this will not stand. 
Logged
Read Between The Lies!

lashmar

  • Majic Eyes Only (Level X)
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2442
    • View Profile
    • UFODP - something so insane it's got to work
Get your shit, we're going to war!
« Reply #1 on: December 15, 2009, 02:24:56 PM »

We need to think of a tactic if we’re going to launch a full scale attack. The Poles didn’t handle themselves very well when the Huns used the Blitzkrieg tactic so I suggest we use that.

DT and Toppy can get the guns, I’ll get the tanks (because you can’t have them in the US) and tatras. We cross from the German on the 22nd (I have to pick up family on the 21st) an hour before dawn.

We’ll start 20 miles from the sea, march east five miles before we turn north and, in a sweeping pattern, create a foothold of land we’ve taken from the poles. We’ll carry on using this tactic until we run out of fuel and then we’ll take public transport until we completely cut off Poland from the sea, by then we’d have captured some ports and Vhizinest (Saturos, could have picked a name I can spell) will ship in some fuel for our war effort and then we will carry on. We'll need some members to keep the supply chains open, we don't want the bastard Poles cutting them off.


We will win and, most importantly, we will capture the town the Big Four are playing at and we will hold onto it until Metallica have played their last song.




Edit: I have something to add.

There is the problem of the German but given there history of supporting poor causes I think they might join us in our war effort.

I’m pretty sure we could get the Russians to join us as well. They look like they want their little empire back and I sure as hell know I want to create a new Empire. Given I’m the only one here who has a legitimate claim to the empire’s chair; I crown myself emperor of the Bunker’s Empire.

We will impose a strict diet of cabbage on any vegetarians we capture (bastards), a few week on that and they’ll want to start eating meat again; eating meat is normal, being a vegetarian isn't but given they're polish vegetarians I think they should be punnished for three things; 1. Taking our jobs, 2. Taking my music, 3. Being vegetarians.

This will be out Economic policy:

I’ve been thinking about this for the past few weeks and I think I have an answer. 

A cross between Capitalism and Communism. I don’t mean socialism I mean a genuine cross between the two. Things that are State-ran are 100% State-ran and things that aren’t the state keep out of.

Healthcare, the military (ban all mercenaries)  and Power are the only things that should be State-ran, not forgetting the BBC for us because it beats the living shit out of any other TV channel.

I want everything else to be ran by private people and, most importantly, if you live a 100% self-sufficient life then you don’t have to pay tax of any form. By 100% I mean exactly that; you don’t use cars, you don’t use public roads, you don’t buy food but you trade it or you grow it yourself. Things like buying tools (including electric appliances) are okay but you have to pay for them with Cash unless you get them made by a blacksmith or electrician in which case you can trade something for them.

Basically it’s Socialist Anarchy.  ;)
« Last Edit: December 15, 2009, 02:43:44 PM by lashmar »
Logged
Read Between The Lies!

Day_Tripper

  • Majic Eyes Only (Level X)
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1626
    • View Profile
Get your shit, we're going to war!
« Reply #2 on: December 15, 2009, 04:03:22 PM »

Sounds like it's time for Polack jokes. :D

http://www.polackjokes.com/

Quote
A bar customer asked the bartender if he wanted to hear a Polack joke. The bartender pointed to a large man at the end of the bar and said, "He's Polish." Then the bartender pointed to a burly policeman near the door and repeated, "He's Polish." The bartender finished, "Now think about whether you want to tell that joke, because I'm Polish, too." The customer replied, "I guess I won't tell that joke after all. I'd have to explain it three times."

How do you stop a Polish army on horseback?
Turn off the carousel.

There was a man sitting in the middle of the road singing 53 53 53 53. A Polack comes out to where the man was and said, what are you doing? The man motioned him to sit down. The Polack did and started to sing with the man, 53 53 53 53. The man got up when the Polack was to caught up in singing and moved to the side of the road. A semi came speeding down the highway and the Polack was ran over. The man came back out, moved the dead Polack into the ditch. She sat down, and started to sing, 54 54 54 54.

What does it say on the bottom of Polish Coke bottles?
"Open other end."
Logged
A people free to choose will always choose peace.
-Ronald Reagan

lashmar

  • Majic Eyes Only (Level X)
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2442
    • View Profile
    • UFODP - something so insane it's got to work
Get your shit, we're going to war!
« Reply #3 on: December 15, 2009, 04:14:38 PM »

I like the carousel joke. lol. ;D

Do you have the guns? I've found the Tatra:



Because these were tough old bastards when they were first made and they're still tough old bastards now we'll use some of these as well:



Given they can pull 60 tonns this isn't too far from the truth:

Logged
Read Between The Lies!

Day_Tripper

  • Majic Eyes Only (Level X)
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1626
    • View Profile
Get your shit, we're going to war!
« Reply #4 on: December 15, 2009, 04:44:50 PM »

Here are a few, we may need more though.

Logged
A people free to choose will always choose peace.
-Ronald Reagan

lashmar

  • Majic Eyes Only (Level X)
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2442
    • View Profile
    • UFODP - something so insane it's got to work
Get your shit, we're going to war!
« Reply #5 on: December 15, 2009, 04:48:18 PM »

Are these overkill?





We need to wait for the others to catch up. :P :D ;D
Logged
Read Between The Lies!

Day_Tripper

  • Majic Eyes Only (Level X)
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1626
    • View Profile
Get your shit, we're going to war!
« Reply #6 on: December 15, 2009, 05:05:34 PM »

Not overkill at all. 
Logged
A people free to choose will always choose peace.
-Ronald Reagan

lashmar

  • Majic Eyes Only (Level X)
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2442
    • View Profile
    • UFODP - something so insane it's got to work
Get your shit, we're going to war!
« Reply #7 on: December 15, 2009, 05:08:48 PM »

I think it might be. We're only going to watch the Big Four, hopefully with Kreator ;D , after all.
Logged
Read Between The Lies!

Mr. TOP SECRET

  • Administrator
  • Majic Eyes Only (Level X)
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3750
    • View Profile
Get your shit, we're going to war!
« Reply #8 on: December 15, 2009, 05:10:39 PM »

Holy Shit Lash! This is a sweet thread you got going here. I want more!  ;D
Logged

lashmar

  • Majic Eyes Only (Level X)
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2442
    • View Profile
    • UFODP - something so insane it's got to work
Get your shit, we're going to war!
« Reply #9 on: December 15, 2009, 05:13:15 PM »

What more do you want? Do you want to add a band to the list? I know I want to take crappy anthrax and replace them with Kreator but do you have any one you'd like to add?

Logged
Read Between The Lies!
Pages: [1] 2   Go Up
 

Page created in 0.141 seconds with 26 queries.