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[Day_Tripper]

http://www.youmeworks.com/sociopaths.html

This seemed like the most appropriate place to put this.  I guess it could be categorized as a "disease".  I did a search on sociopaths because I believe my father is a sociopath.  There are every day sociopaths that we don't realize.  They don't have to kill animals or humans, though some do.  Many are CEOs and in governments around the world.  They see everything as a competition.  They have no empathy and tend to be quite intelligent.  Since they don't care how others feel, they play games with the people around them.

One of the "games" my father played with us was when we used to watch family slide shows.  Yes, I'm that old.    In the slides, which my father was meticulous about which order they went in, so he'd hold the slides up to the light and inspect each and every one of them before the family viewed them.  One of the pictures that was often in that slide presentation was a picture of my mom with a broken nose.  That alone sounds weird, who takes a pic of their wife with a broken nose?  We always asked what happened to her, the answer was a car accident.  OK, maybe that was for insurance?  That could be a reasonable explanation for the picture.  But, that isn't what really happened.  When we each were old enough to learn the truth, our mom told us.  They were in the car, that part is true.  They had an argument.  My father grabbed my mother's hair and slammed her head on the dashboard.  That is bad and that is abuse.  But, to take a picture of the damage to her, and then to show it to her children, that is insane.  That requires a sociopath to do that.

I've looked into common sociopaths here and there.  It is just resurfacing for me now because my father now is literally on his death bed.  He is still playing games with people's feelings.  My sister called crying, not over his death, but because he hurt her feelings again.  All of us kids know he is dying, yet, we still can't see him in a good light.  I feel bad that when he does die, we're not going to remember the good times.  There weren't really many good times with him, but still.  We're going to talk about what an asshole he was.  That is sad.  What is even worse is that I've tied up karma with that man and will have to try to work some of that out in a future life.

I used to use the above story to get sympathy.  That isn't what I'm looking for here.  For me it's a broken record and I'm done with it.  I'm posting this in case there are others out there who may know or be related to a sociopath and not realize it.  I think that may be why I'm attracted to the men I'm attracted to.  My ex-husband was very emotional, too girly though.  He cried a lot.  My current boyfriend is very passionate, in many things.  These men actually feel!  Whether those feelings are anger or sadness, it's better than looking into ice blue eyes, like my father, without any emotion behind them.

And no, none of us kids were ever physically abused.  It was all mental.  Nor have I ever had a boyfriend/husband who has ever hit me.

    1. Do you often feel used by the person?

    2. Have you often felt that he (or she) doesn't care about you?

    3. Does he lie and deceive you?

    4. Does he tend to make contradictory statements?

    5. Does he tend to take from you and not give back much?

    6. Does he often appeal to pity? Does he seem to try to make you feel sorry for him?

    7. Does he try to make you feel guilty?

    8. Do you sometimes feel he is taking advantage of your good nature?

    9. Does he seem easily bored and need constant stimulation?

    10. Does he use a lot of flattery? Does he interact with you in a way that makes you feel flattered even if he says nothing overtly complimentary?

    11. Does he make you feel worried? Does he do it obviously or more cleverly and sneakily?

    12. Does he give you the impression you owe him?

    13. Does he chronically fail to take responsibility for harming others? Does he blame everyone and everything but himself?

[Day_Tripper]

No response eh?  I didn't post this to be a "hater".  I posted this and looked into this as part of a grieving process for me.  As weird as it sounds...I'm trying to understand him.  Some people are born without arms or legs or sight or hearing, he was born without empathy.  In a way it's a handicap.  I can't imagine that kind of experience.  It's like the difference between color and black and white when it comes to emotions.

It also gives me some insight into the politicians/corporations/fascist government we live under and those who claim to run it.  Many of them are everyday sociopaths.  I suspect many of our recent prez' have been either sociopaths or controlled by sociopaths.  Sociopaths are estimated to be between 2%-3% of the population and the majority of them are men.  How many people claim to be the elite?  What percent of the population control the majority of resources on this planet?  Wouldn't it be interesting to have an opportunity to get up close and personal, say choose to be born to a sociopath, in order to understand those who claim to rule?  Ooh, that one just popped out.    I choose to believe that we choose our situations before we're born to learn specific lessons.  I may have just realized one of my lessons.

If my father is any example, I can tell you he doesn't care if he hurts any living being mentally or physically.  However, his greatest fear is physical harm to himself.